A memoir is usually a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge of the author. Thus, it account issues from the author’s perspectives and as such persons who names have been mentioned in ways which denigrates their personality have a right to react or respond to same.
Now, as a Fatherhood Advocate and from the few readings I’ve done from various media portals and commentaries I’ve listened to others make about the contents of the book; has made me conclude that Yvonne Nelson suffered from lack of father involvement or father absence in the formative years of her life. I’m the least surprised about the contents as listened to talked about on various media platforms.
Let it be stated that “Children who feel a closeness to their father are: twice as likely as those who do not to enter college or find stable employment after high school, 75% less likely to have a teen birth, 80% less likely to spend time in jail, and half as likely to experience multiple depression symptoms” www.all 4kids.org, 2023).
With reference to this, Yvonne did well regarding her pregnancy with Sarkodie since she was 25. She didn’t have a dad in her life and even if she did, how involved was that father figure if not for presenteeism sake. The lack of father involvement in her formative years contributed to her seeking for male attachment to compensate for what she lacked. The least Sarkodie could have done was to contribute to her woes at those trying moments of her life which she feels heavily affected by it and recounting same in her memoir.
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Again, www.all4kids.org (2023) states “Fathers occupy a critical role in child development. Father absence hinders development from early infancy through childhood and into adulthood. The psychological harm of father absence experienced during childhood persists throughout the life course”.
From the narrations from all those who have read Yvonne’s book and the allegations of her having relationships with different guys is just an exhibition for a certain psychological harm she suffered from infancy which might have played out in her adult life. Can you blame her?
George W. Bush, former US president in one his speeches and in admitting fatherlessness impacts on kids stated “Over the past four decades, fatherlessness has emerged as one of our greatest social problems. We know that children who grow up with absent-fathers can suffer lasting damage. They are more likely to end up in poverty or drop out of school, become addicted to drugs, have a child out of wedlock, or end up in prison. Fatherlessness is not the only cause of these things, but our nation must recognize it is an important factor” (www.all4kids. org 2023).
Had Yvonne had a baby for Sarkodie as the time, she would have only been a victim of the impact on an absent father; by having a child out of wedlock. Many men treat ladies as commodities. Thus, like an item which can used and discarded at anytime. That, should be discouraged and men should take women more seriously.
Sarkodie has released a ‘Diss song’ on Wednesday, 28th June, 2023 titled ‘Try me’. The song did not mention Yvonne’s name but every sane person can appreciate that it was in response to issues raised about him in her book. The song itself is problematic from my view point. The title ‘Try me” suggest Sarkodie being someone unknown to Yvonne but, in this case she already knows him so why such a tilted response?
King Sark tries to justify that he didn’t ask Yvonne to abort the pregnancy. I can grant him that. But, any man who has gotten any woman pregnant before would know that if a man insist on a lady keeping a pregnancy, in most time about 95% of the ladies would keep the pregnancy. In this instance, Sark never disproved Yvonne’s assertion that he drove her in his car to a clinic to abort the pregnancy. How can a man who wants a lady to keep a pregnancy drive same lady to clinic for the purposes of abortion?
Again, did he leave her to her faith at the said hospital or not? We all make mistakes and this singular act of King Sark as narrated by Yvonne portrays Sarkodie as acting inhumanely, unreasonably and very inconsiderately towards her. No wonder among the many men people claim she has dated, King Sarks matter features prominently.
I’m not holding brief for anyone but King Sark could have declined to be engaged in this public banter between him and Yvonne. It always advisable to stay clear of any unnecessary engagements with a lady especially someone you have had consensual sex with. Sarkodie also erred in his song by referencing Yvonne as someone who dated him and others at the same time. Did he know that before dating her or after? And what did he do to help her after realizing that was her weakness? To me, that is a moot point.
To conclude, “Many would admit that they have struggled with feelings of abandonment and low self-esteem, due to the lack of a father’s love in their lives. Some have turned to drugs, alcohol, risky sexual activities, unhealthy relationships, or other destructive behaviours to numb the pains of fatherlessness” to which Yvonne Nelson might have suffered same.
The actress has done very well in cataloguing her personal history. At least, it can serve as a guide for upcoming girls who want to achieve her height. Sarkodie and Yvonne both have baby girls. I expect them not allow their personal experiences affects their girls. Yvonne should at all times allow her daughter to benefit from the fatherly love she lacked and ensure her daughter must get especially during her formative years. Sarkodie on the hand should not allow his career or busy schedule alienate him from the father impact his daughter must benefit from him.
If fathers play their roles well whether in marriage or not, and allow the girl children to bond better with them, society stands to benefit from well-balanced children.
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